On Being a Nanay
Saturday, October 29, 2016
As I hunt for words to accurately describe my very new experiences on being a mother, I ended up with the seemingly cheesy, the easily corny "life-changing."
Life-changing -- a term I don't intend on bastardizing by using loosely. A term, from my recollection, I haven't used until today. As it turns out, this, to me, perfectly describes and painlessly sums up motherhood.
Motherhood is an experience like no other. In a blink of an eye, life as I know it is no longer all about me. And even more surprisingly, the new version of me -- the nanay, embraces this latest personal truth without complain. Suddenly, I learn to put the little one first -- I immediately respond to his every cry, I anticipate his needs, I worry about nothing and everything. And I do so with great love -- the kind which before conceiving, carrying and delivering a child I never knew possible for my cynical aging heart. Suddenly, I find clarity and truth to the phrase "I never thought my heart could love this much." I am head over heels in love. I find joy in watching my son sleep. My heart melts when he flashes me with that big toothless grin. Everyday, he takes my breath away. Suddenly, I am reconnected with my childlike soul -- the kind which finds joy in the simplest of things, the kind which is thankful, and hopeful, and positive. I am happy to be writing this down. It makes me relive the experiences of being a first-time mom. It makes me remember.
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